We all have that person in our lives. Before you've truly begun to formulate an idea for a novel, a business plan, a personal goal, or a new blog, that person's voice is already listing all the ways that it could go wrong. The seemingly infinite number of ways that you could fail. The insurmountable competition from numerous companies, people, blogs and books that have executed this idea better than you in the past. The reasons you are unqualified. All the times you have failed
and over again.
I know what you are thinking: Why would anyone keep a person like that around? If a person in your life was truly that negative, critical, hurtful, judgmental and unwilling to change, most of you would take a long, hard look at whether or not your relationship with that person was a good idea (and rightfully so).
But every single one of you will choose to keep this person around.
Because this person is you.
While this is certainly true of my male friends to some extent, I’m going to talk to my ladies here for just a second:
Us girls sure know how to beat ourselves up, am I right?
From the moment we pull ourselves out of bed on too little sleep, leave the house without it looking perfect, get to work five minutes late, grab a fast food lunch, hit happy hour for the third time in three days, pass on the gym to binge watch Netflix instead…
(I know you are all cringing right now, because you know what the internal monologue of the day I just described sounds like.)
Yikes. We definitely know how to dish it out when our number one punching bag is involved (ourselves).
So how do we stop?
Treat yourself the way you treat your best friend.
The same way that we are quick to jump to criticize ourselves, we are quick to jump to defend our friends. No matter what the accusation is, our initial reaction is to support them. Our first instinct is unquestioning loyalty.
We’ll even jump in with encouragement and inspiration and a kick in the pants when a friend is on a self-criticizing rampage. I’m not saying we don’t make mistakes in relationships (we are all human), but overall, we work hard to support our friends in pursuing their dreams.
We want them to succeed, and we’ll put on the gloves and go a round in the ring with anyone or anything that tries to stop them.
That's the kind of love and loyalty you deserve, even (and ESPECIALLY) from yourself!